What to Say on Your Big Day
Now that your wedding is near, you are probably really excited and equally nervous. One thing that seems to be at the top of everyone’s “nerves” list is the wedding vows. It’s usually a combination of being nervous to speak in front of people and also not being sure what to say (especially if you are writing your own wedding vows).
Likewise, you might be thinking of how to approach this seemingly easy yet surprisingly daunting task.
The bottom line is wedding vows are important. The vows are the centralized spoke to the ceremony and the entire celebration. Whether you are using traditional vows or writing your own, they need to speak to your partner even more than the crowd.
If you want help planning your wedding so you can focus more on your wedding vows, look no further than Plan Your Key West Wedding. In this article, we guide you through why wedding vows are important, the choices you may have, and some tips on how to prepare.
Let’s get right into it!
What Are Wedding Vows?
As you might have figured out from the few or many weddings you have attended, wedding vows are a declaration, promise, or pledge to your partner when committing to a life together. They range from what an officiant (priest, rabbi, judge, or even a close friend) may ask of you to something personal you have written yourself.
It is the part of the ceremony where you speak from the heart and pledge your commitment before the official declaration of partnership.
The wedding ceremony may not be the most exciting part of the evening (let’s be honest, everyone loves the party more) but it is the most important; it is the reason for the occasion. Notably, these words, the vows, will be the cement holding together your intentions toward each other in the marriage.
The History of Wedding Vows
Within the Christian culture, which is what our traditional vows are descended from, vows began becoming a part of weddings after the 1500s, owing this progression to the Catholic Church. It was around this time that weddings became official ceremonies handled by the church, creating the standard traditional vows we all probably have heard:
‘I (your name) take you (your wife/husband’s name) to be my wedded wife/husband, from this day forward, to love and to hold, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.’
The Book of Prayers was the first solid reference for traditional wedding vows, commonly used in any public Christian ceremony since the 16th Century. There are several variations depending on your denomination.
Other religions and cultures also have varying wedding vows, including:
The Hindu Saphtha Pathi (Seven steps around a fire, dedicated to the god Agni)
Muslims’ reference to the Holy Qu’ran
Jewish exchange of rings symbolizing the consecration of the couple to each other
Buddhists focus on pledging a higher truth through all life changes
The essence of these words, no matter what culture or religion you are from, declares the commitment to the relationship despite the challenges you face in marriage. It further solidifies your resolve to invest in this partnership until the day one of you passes on.
However, modern-day weddings are diversifying what wedding vows entail. Besides the usual words by the officiant, couples can express their feelings toward each other. It also allows them to hold weddings in different places besides a church, synagogue, or temple.
The Importance of Wedding Vows
Here are a few reasons why wedding vows are essential to the entire ceremony:
1 – Wedding vows promise your spouse that you will be there despite what may come. It means you will dedicate your time, resources, and self to this person for the rest of your life. That is a reassurance no one else can offer you besides each other.
2 – It is a vow to the two families you are joining together of your commitment toward each other.
3 – You are showing the witnesses, other than family, that you intend to take this lifelong commitment seriously. And you never know; the sincerity of your words may inspire other people.
4 – If you are religious, it is a vow to God before men. That is one reason why marriages in Christianity are called holy matrimony. Therefore, you become solely accountable for the vows you made before heaven.
How Do You Go About Your Vows?
At this point, you need to know whether you will be going the traditional or modern route. Notably, traditional wedding ceremonies do not allow personalized vows. However, if you want to say something self-curated, you can ask your officiant. Otherwise, you can still stick to the basics and get the job done.
If you choose a modern take, here are a few things to consider when creating personalized vows:
- How does your partner feel about bearing your innermost thoughts to everyone present at your wedding? If they are not okay with it, you could always stick to traditional vows or write a private message for them to read after the ceremony.
- Are there any limitations that could make writing the vows difficult? You can find solutions to these issues before kickstarting your vows.
- What will be the purpose and theme of your vows? What do you want to tell your partner? Since you know a million things about your significant other, limit yourself to important highlights of who they are, what attracted you to them, what you love most, and what you wish to achieve with them in the long run.
- Lastly, do you need help with your vows? Your officiant is the first reliable person to ask if you have doubts. Others include your celebrants, family, or friends. You can always ask the Google gods too. We personally love this article on Southern Living which has some amazing examples of vows for inspiration.
Priceless Tips to Help You Write Your Wedding Vows
Here is a compilation of some things that will help you along the way:
Do Not Procrastinate
You want ample time to come up with something amazing to say. Likewise, rushed last-minute vows will not achieve the satisfactory results you need. Therefore, begin as soon as possible. Jot down things you remember along the way on a designated notebook for your vows, whether physical or online. You can also use online resources like Pinterest, Vowness, Provenance, and most wedding-related sites to inspire you for the best vows.
Be Sincere
Sounding natural and truthful is key to getting the right reaction. Therefore, be sincere and intentional about what you want to say.
Also, be yourself. After all, you wouldn’t be getting married if your partner didn’t like you for you. That said, telling someone else to write your vows isn’t advisable as you lose authenticity.
Do Not Overthink It
While it’s a big deal for everyone, you don’t need to overthink your vows. Go with the flow. You don’t need to be William Shakespeare to achieve the best vows for your spouse. Therefore, take whatever feels right in your heart and curate something exceptional.
Be Purposeful
You could talk about your spouse all day, given the opportunity. This factor makes it hard to choose something concise to say about them. A good way to navigate this hurdle is to find one or two things to focus on in your speech. That way, you avoid confusion, get a more precise delivery, and save time.
Censor Your Words
The first rule of public speaking is avoiding awkward moments in the process. That means your vows need to be public-friendly. Save anything inappropriate for kids and, more specifically, your parents’ ears for later when you’re alone with your partner.
Practicing
Think of this as that speech you needed to do during that regional debate. Get in front of that mirror and do your worst until it becomes your best. That way, you will be confident enough to say everything before the wedding crowd.
Short Yet Moving
Lastly, a million words are not enough for your partner, and we recognize that. However, for the sake of everyone else, keep your speech well under five minutes. After all, you are bagging this person for life and will have the opportunity to tell them everything you couldn’t say.
Well, What’s Next?
Overall, you need to find the best vows for you and not to impress the crowd. It boils down to the little things you and your spouse have experienced to reach this point. Therefore, tell your love story as is and have fun while at it.
On the brighter side, you can have traditional vows with a modern twist to fit your theme. There are no limitations to what you can include in your speech.
You can also make your vows more intimate by availing your thoughts to your partner privately. All the same, do what is best for you and your partner for a successful wedding day.
If you have any questions about vows, feel free to ask below or start working with one of our Key West wedding officiants today.
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